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wA Common Misconception |
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Exciting stories of a slightly less-than-average girl's monotonous life. Guitars, small towns, bad jokes, and chicken.
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wSaturday, January 10, 2004 |
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Oh, and also, here is something that is important:
Instead of using the terms "LOL" "hehe" or "heh heh," you should use the simpler and more appropriate term "SSS." Here's why:
ShakeItUpWPepper: It occurred to me that I never laugh like "hehehe," and indeed, cannot recall ever witnessing it. even though I type it sometimes. sometimes I laugh through my nose, and it sounds like "sss sss sss"
mobilgirl7: Yes. I was never really sure how to type laughing, because I also, cannot ever recall laughing like "hehehe," but sometimes "heh heh" sounds sarcastic. In fact, unless I am going into laughing convulsions, I usually laugh through my nose as well. Perhaps we should type "sss sss sss" to signify laughing.
ShakeItUpWPepper: sounds good to me. :-)
mobilgirl7: Me too.
ShakeItUpWPepper: in fact, we could probably abbreviate it SSS and co-opt SSS back from the selective service, much in the same way that the gay community has taken back the word "queer"
mobilgirl7: Sounds like a good plan to me. I think everyone would appreciate it.
ShakeItUpWPepper: tell all your friends. and put it in your blog
So here it is. Spread it around.
posted by
Colleen at 6:46 PM
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I think I am going to start my own secret society. I will call it Zeta Epsilon Delta. Sometimes I think it would also be interesting to start a fight club, but I don't know if I would actually have enough guts to fight.
posted by
Colleen at 6:12 PM
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wThursday, January 08, 2004 |
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An Article:
Singers With Lisps
Jello Biafra - The Dead Kennedys
Patrick Matthews - The Vines
Courtney Taylor - The Dandy Warhols
Isaac Brock - Modest Mouse
Fred Schneider - The B-52s
If you have any more, let me know. Also, if you think I am just imagining Courtney Taylor's lisp, let me know. I don't want to be accused of libel...not that saying that someone has a lisp is defaming, but I think I will put this in "Ackland's"...so I want it to be accurate and fairly complete.
posted by
Colleen at 5:36 PM
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wTuesday, January 06, 2004 |
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Since I have no internet connection, basic cable on a TV with no remote control, and no means of transportation, I guess I will actually get started on this terrible piece of garbage. Right now, I am sitting in my room, after spending three hours in a chair in the library reading a textbook, eating half a can of beef and potato stew, trying to get reception on my cell phone, and generally suffering through a horrible evening, only worsened by my inability to communicate with the real world. Someone please help me.
Since this will be the “letter from the editor” thing, I guess I don’t really have to worry about it having much of a point. No one ever reads these things anyway. If you are still reading this, I apologize. The rest of this issue will be better. At least I hope it is, being that this will be the first issue and I would hate for it to also be the last.
That said, perhaps I should explain things so you can judge this incredible masterpiece in the right context. I have no real education in journalism. In high school, I was thrust (yes, thrust) onto the newspaper staff with no training whatsoever. Hence, I wrote inane and bitterly sarcastic articles. When I am put under fanatical pressure to write tedious articles centered around a stilted Republican high school in the suburbs, I can only react through sarcasm, satire, and sardonicism. The computer is telling me that “sardonicism” is not a real word, but for crying out loud, I have no idea what the proper form of that word would be.
Anyway, every time I would perfect my draft of an article, someone would find it inappropriate and instead of being able to hand the problem over to someone else (an editor, perhaps), I was forced to conform my own Pulitzer prize-worthy pieces into horrible, dank inkblots that even I couldn’t bare to read. I was Jackson Pollock in Victorian England.
Eventually, I became the Feature Editor and things improved slightly. Our staff writers were fortunately exceptionally inept and I was allowed to write a few slightly altered, but mostly original pieces to fill up space. This privilege soon became trivial, however. There was quite a lot of pressure to lay out the pages early on in the newspaper-making process, which was, I think, very unreasonable, considering I usually had no articles until a few days before the paper was supposed to go to press. Anyway, I got into the habit of writing static informative pieces to fill space because I had no time or motivation for creativity. And many of these articles were based almost entirely (I am not ashamed to admit) on other articles. This is not plagiarism. This is getting ideas from reliable sources for a dying high school newspaper. I think as an interesting anecdote, I will include this: One article I was working on happened to be about masturbation. I had gotten the idea from a paper published by another high school in our district. It was going to be a big deal because our staff supervisor had already denounced our idea to publish our own version in our paper. However, I was going to sneak it onto the page at the last possible moment before the paper went to press. These plans never came to fruition, though. I actually don’t remember why.
So. My other journalistic education has come from reading a lot of Hunter S. Thompson, watching a movie in which Jack Lemon plays a reporter, wishing I was Cameron Crowe, and seeing a program where Bob Schieffer talks about his early days as a journalist. So, I am more qualified than other people I think. Well, at least 30% of Americans, anyway. Now there is a disturbing fact. About 30% of American adults never develop to Piaget’s Formal Operational Stage and wouldn’t understand the abstract meaning of the phrase “a penny for your thoughts.”
I would like to point out, lastly, that I am writing this before any of the articles have even been conceived, so I can only hope along with you that they turn out alright. I apologize ahead of time, though, because I am doubting that a lot of this will make much sense to most people. Thanks for your time though, if you got this far. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen.
Colleen Dillon (Editor, Founder, President, Publisher, Writer, and Owner of Any Rights Herein and Here and In)
posted by
Colleen at 4:53 PM
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